Your Post-Holiday Survival Guide to New Things

The holiday  can be a busy season with many feelings and sentiments. There's always the thing how the holidays were before and maybe even expectations from even as early as growing up like how the holiday should be. And if there was pain, then we may even long more for this holiday to make up for our pain. 

And then there is a moving target on top of that, which is that life happens. With the pandemic, there was a time where all the holidays, were just via zoom, and we all stayed within our houses. And now that everything has been opening up more this year, we may need to get used to that, too. 

Brainstorm with my guest sherpa Sarah Hohmann on how to set sail not just for a peaceful holiday but for new things to come!

You'r listening to YOUR Mental Wellness podcast for YOUR voice and sanity.

You'r listening to YOUR Mental Wellness podcast for YOUR voice and sanity.

Thank you for joining us this week on your mental wellness podcast for your voice and sanity. Make sure to check out our show notes, visit our website, www dot tools for vitality.com where you can subscribe to the show. We would appreciate it if you would tell a friend about the podcast

Thank you for joining us this week on your mental wellness podcast for your voice and sanity. Make sure to check out our show notes, visit our website, www dot tools for vitality.com where you can subscribe to the show. We would appreciate it if you would tell a friend about the podcast

What are your questions about your mental wellness, tools for vitality, or any other topic that comes up for you?

Email me: toolsforvitality@pm.me .

Tools for Vitality: Therapy, Coaching, Optimizing Nutrition and Movement for Mental Wellness

Transcript

Sibylle Georgianna: 0:21

Well, I'm so grateful to have a beautiful Sherpa. Sarah, with us again. And I'm so excited that finally, you know, we could sync our calendars after these effortful weeks. Yeah. And, and get to chat a little bit again, how have you been? How are you doing, Sarah?

Sarah Hohmann: 0:43

Well, I've been I've been pretty good. Actually, I've been doing pretty well, especially with the holiday season. It's been I know, a lot of people have felt this way the the rush of getting all the President's done and getting your house set up for parties. And just continuously on go mode and action and planning mode. And now I'm feeling like, everything is just 98% all the way finished. And it's time to go into rest mode. That's where I am right now. How about you? How are you doing?

Sibylle Georgianna: 1:22

That is perfect. I think a holiday in general is like is my busy season as it brings up so much. If it was just for myself, right? I mean, there's always how the holidays were before and maybe even expectations from even as early as growing up like how the holiday should be. And if there was pain, you know that they should be better. And then there is a moving target on top of that, which is life as it happens. And so I think for me, the holiday season is always extra busy. Yes, in a way extra distracting. So what I and I did a little bit of that this year as well. So when it comes to all the greetings to my family in Germany and things like that, I may have that out in August, it felt like it was October actually, because I just send them everything early, because I was like it's gonna be very busy in December. I don't want to rush those things that I want to send to my loved ones in Germany. And, of course, I mailed it out, what was it? October 15, or something and fantastic. But it still did not make that holiday time less busy. I'm sure so but you know, yeah. So what are your What are your thoughts in terms of like how to best sail for the holidays? And what what comes after that?

Sarah Hohmann: 2:53

Well, when I think of how to manage the holidays, just in general, I've seen a lot about what we can do in the present moment to plan for the next thing. But I haven't seen much about what to do afterwards. And I'm not sure primarily what that is maybe it's the focus of getting things done in the moment. That that there's a priority in that. But I feel like there's also priority in in just disengaging from it. Like in from a scientific level, engaging in the parasympathetic system, the relaxed system and letting things go and not trying to absorb more stress and, and that kind of energy, you know what I mean? And so I feel like also, with the pandemic, there was a time where all the holidays, were just via zoom, and we all stayed within our houses. And I guess maybe that everything's opened up more this year, that it's sort of oh, well, like, I'm not used to this. We're gathering people in the house. And now I have to make food for A, B and C person, you know, and how like, 20 people are coming here and blah, blah, blah, you know, and I feel that there's disorganization within like myself of how did I do this again? And how do I get back into those roots? Um, and I also feel that when I begin to disengage from like, okay, everything is done, I can sit down and just breathe for a moment and let let the present continue. Like now it's the party and people are sitting in, you know, enjoying themselves how can I also sit and enjoy myself and not think of the next five steps that I need to do? Or find things that need to be done but just let go. I guess that's the word. How can I let go and be in the present moment? Well,

Sibylle Georgianna: 5:09

that is such Oh, I'm sorry you go ahead. You told me

Sarah Hohmann: 5:12

Oh, no, no, that was that was it and I guess that's where I've been really thing Thinking about it and the past few weeks or so of how can I let go of the next task and be present?

Sibylle Georgianna: 5:27

That's very, very deep, because I think that's such a key ingredient to, to enjoyment or to joy, really, because there's so much, you know, the Happy Holidays, or the cheerful holidays, but I think that sense of inner joy is truly from from just being, wherever I, you know, I get to be at the time. And I totally understand and feel that, even the holidays, where it's supposed to be a little bit, at least from the German tradition, it's like, you slow things down, you think about the year you, you know, you develop gratitude, that, that that can be something that our nervous system, you know, can be amped up with and not slow down by, you know, so so. So, you know, as you mentioned, that parasympathetic, that relaxed nervous system, the opposite to the fight, flight or freeze, I think, looking at ways to kind of gently put the foot on the brake for that nervous system to kind of go into calm, that can be even sometimes challenging with it being maybe amped up, especially. And I know that already that this is a busier season for me. And so shifting down that nervous system from the Go, go, go, go go to the calm and relaxed and meditative, and pondering and then developing that inner joy that can be that can be a challenge. So, so yeah, I mean, let me see here, if I can pick your brain on what would you do to it, that gentle break of the nervous system, anything that you find yourself do want to do, at least you know, even if it's not always feasible?

Sarah Hohmann: 7:14

I think there's definitely a few things there. Number one, I continually remind myself that is, it's a gentle break, it's gently putting my foot down on the brake and slowing to a stop. And it's not like slamming my foot down in a hard stop. To be like, No, you need to relax. Now, you have to enjoy the moment right now. You know, like, I feel like, yeah, I was like, oh, people are opening presents that we're exchanging, I need to sit and enjoy this moment in the second. I think, in preparing for that, at least, I can start earlier of taking little tiny bits of it. of, okay, I wrapped all the presents that I interrupt to need to ramp just slightly cross that one off the list. And take a moment to just, you know, breathe, and I guess slowly reward myself in that way of, I did this, I don't need to think about it anymore. And as I cross more things off the list, I don't need to think about that anymore. I can slowly enjoy it. And then comes time to the actual event day of okay, I already did the preparations for food, I can just do you know, that preparation, and that'll be set for that day. And of course, nothing goes perfectly. So I don't have to think you know, did not put myself in the mindset of what's going to happen that day, or future thinking, just what am I doing right now? I am, I already did this task I can sit down for I can take five minutes to breathe, to really be grateful of the things that are happening right now in my life. And, and then when it comes time for that big holiday event, I'd already been shifted into that mood, if that makes sense that I've been practicing that all week of I cross this off my list I can I can breathe, I can focus on the now I'm so grateful that I did that. I'm so grateful for where I am in this moment. And then moving on to the next item crossing that off. I'm so grateful that this happened. You know, just keep that attitude of gratitude. Just just throughout the day in little bits and pieces. I think that's how I slowly engage more the parents sympathetic system more of the relaxed mood and get more air into my lungs, you know, just more relaxation. And there's no there's little more things to do have, you know, I'm sure, but it doesn't need to happen at this very second in like the things that are happening in the future. Don't need to happen right now. I guess, you know, and that's just mentally where I put myself.

Sibylle Georgianna: 10:25

I think that's such a beautiful spot, it makes me even calmer. When you're just talking like that. I'm like, oh, yeah, that gets really good. And sometimes I find my brain be more like, you know, when you put popcorn in the microwave, and it starts popping all over. So of course, having that type of brain, you know, calming that down, is sometimes more often art, but even just pulling yourself always back into the present moment. And then yes, acknowledging it, whatever it feels like, whether it feels like how you want to feel or whether it feels hard or feels irritable, or it feels tired. Yeah, is, you know, that's really the key to due to that, to that gentle break. And you're so right, I haven't seen much really on transitioning out of the holidays back, you know, back into life after the holidays. And, yeah, so So even making that something that that's a gentle transition, or maybe, for me, I think I want to keep it in that calm or in that resting mode. Although there is stuff to attend to. That's maybe my my continuous goal is to be like, calming that popcorn brain or acknowledging that it wants to go all over the place. And yes, amp up and yet, you know, coming up with these ways to kind of gently downshift it. But I guess that's a whole different, that's a whole different topic to what would be do you have any, any things that you already, like, want to kind of practice or embark on, so that you're moving in a different way out of the holiday season, instead of just feeling like, you know, the, I think there's a lot of blues after the holidays about like having a stand or having over sugared or whatever we do. That can make us feel like a little bit like a like a crash and burn, like what are your tips thought for that post holiday?

Sarah Hohmann: 12:37

Definitely? Well, in transitioning out of the holidays, there's also some recognition of, you know, being grateful that the holidays have happened. And yes, there's some sadness and grief that oh, you know, maybe I've been so busy that I missed out on, you know, the holidays that I've, I've just been so on gogogo mode, and I've missed out on the entire holiday. And there's a sense that like, some people will find some grief in that. And that's going to be harder to transition out of that. But for me, I I'm I'm thinking, definitely goal setting. Like as we enter into, like the new year, there's, there's the goal setting of what can we do. And I know it's more of thinking towards the future. But I think there's also of looking at myself, looking at what has happened in the past year and sitting and reflecting with it, and thinking how much you've accomplished in the past year, and being grateful for that. And setting setting a new front setting a new new path for the new year. And I think there's some peace in that too. And as long as you look at it within, hey, you know, it's always being gentle. I think that's always the main point of all this is Be gentle with yourself. And when you're planning for goals, it's not Oh, I'm, I'm so insecure, I need to do better with myself. No, it's more of you know, would be great if we, if I did this and this Wouldn't that be fun? Like that kind of mentality of goal setting for what I'm gonna do in the next year? If that, if that makes sense.

Sibylle Georgianna: 14:33

That makes a lot of sense. So what I hear you describe is really that, that, you know, having the mindset of perhaps, you know, with the gentleness like it's as if we apply the compassion to ourselves first or, you know, we call it sale or self love or something to then move from from that point of view instead of you more of a from a point of curiosity and and maybe, you know, expectation of maybe something good that can truly continue from this year.

Sarah Hohmann: 15:05

Oh, yes forward.

Sibylle Georgianna: 15:06

But the other part also that I felt was so spot on, was when you describe this notion of grief or loss, and I think that was the you know, if we think I mean, I'm looking at a word for the last couple of months and years, I think change or loss, or adjustment with which comes the loss of maybe what what I was used to, or how life is supposed to be happening or how or what I thought I would do all these things that then can bring us to this point of grievance. And I think even so, do try like, but it's for me to kind of sit with my grievance for a little bit, or sit with my loss or a little bit or even just acknowledge it with lots of holiday season, I love you know, lights and candles and all that. So when I add, this has been my practice anyways. But now it's even more hidden in the holiday season to light a candle when I have to deal with a loss or grievance. And sometimes it can be just from work, you know what work. But as I have my little candle on, it just really represents that loss, whether it was mine or somebody else's, and then it feels I can look at that candle, as I pass by or as I'm in the room. But it doesn't have to, like, keep me in the back of my mind kind of ruminating or, you know, with overwhelm so, so I but I think the acknowledgement of many losses that many of us have been dealing with, whether we like those losses, or we were anticipated them or not, I think that is the place that I can kind of get stuck. Yeah, you know, I talked down to myself, or you said, gentle, you know, I'm not gentle with myself, I'm irritable with myself, and then really pointing me more to a grievance of loss or some disappointment that sometimes with my, with my candle going, it's already enough to have that acknowledgement, and then I can have more capacity to be gentle again, or to be looking forward to and moving in, in peace in a way right, or in some worse, some way of yeah, just accepting that it is and not be the not being defined by it. So I think there is just so much that these qualities, even if I'm saying this, you know, there's, there's so much that seems to be always coming up with the holiday season. And yeah, so for me, it's probably having some reminders of change, or loss or difficulties with those around me, so that I can take a quick look at those reminders. But then also kind of turn my turn my face again, towards what, what I want to move towards. So it's so fun. Like, you know, in Europe, they have all these cemeteries and it's as if you go to the cemetery, it sounds so funny for the holidays, to talk about cemeteries, but, but the idea of visiting and then leaving the specific sense, or the sadness or the loss, they are but again, at any time, as I would want to all feel fit, and thereby allow me myself to kind of move move again, forward, you know, and so yeah, um, so I think that's, that's a big piece, but those losses with the holidays are these unfulfilled things. But I do like the idea, I heard you describe that goal setting. And I loved how you set those goals, because they're sounding more like explorations, rather than, you know, nailing myself to some standard that I might be already exhausted, to achieve, you know, to the holidays. And but, so I love that curious, maybe exploration of what you want to do in the next year. So do you have

Unknown: 19:16

any ideas? It sounds funny? Any ideas what you want to explore the next year?

Sarah Hohmann: 19:22

Well, definitely, um, it just little things. Um, for example, I set a goal for myself to read, like, five or six books, because I'm not much of a reader. I'd love to get more into reading, like on my downtime, and I started two or three series within this whole entire year, and now I'm up to like 15 or 16 books. Yeah, I look back at that. I'm like, Wow, I'm like a, I'm a reader. I love reading. So I think for this upcoming year, I want to set it to like, double that amount, and it's going to be okay, whether or not that I'll get there. It's just the fact that look at how much I did. I think that's how I look at it, even if I don't meet all the goals that I have. Have a look at what I actually did. And, and think, wow, that's still pretty a lot. Um, so definitely reading, and I'm definitely within the past year I gotten into running, and I'm going to count all my my mileage. And I want to see if I can get to like at least 600 Miles cumulatively, wow, by the end of the year, I mean, not just all at once, but like day by day, you know, two miles here, three miles here, you know, that kind of thing. And I'm excited to see how far I'll actually go and how close if I even exceed my goal? I think definitely, those are the two main ones. And I think one other thing that I've thought about was to intentionally make time to be with the ones I love. Um, I felt like definitely throughout the holiday season, since I was talking about being going and going and going. And yes, I got to spend time with family, but I feel like I need to schedule it in. And when I schedule it in, it's more of, I prioritize this. And I think I need to prioritize more of here's one friend over here down in, in the city that I want to spend more time with, I'm going to schedule and lock that in the calendar and not push it off. I want to spend time with you know, my family over here we can get have more get togethers, and I'm scheduling more time to do that. I'm just writing that down on my calendar instead of Oh, yeah, that'll be great. It was like, no, just be me being intentional about that. I think those are my main three goals. And it's more, they're more of soft goals. It's not like, I have to do it. Because it's, you know, I do it because it's important to me, but not because it's a forceful kind of thing for me. So How about how about yourself?

Sibylle Georgianna: 22:32

Those are really beautiful. So I'm not as I'm clearly not as clear as you were on yours. Especially measurable goals. So I guess, really just have maybe different ways to approach work, different modalities, I think that's definitely something I want to keep at it. In this new year coming. Yeah, I just have some ideas about workshops really, to help us shift that nervous system break gently down, you know, that's one of the things I just wanted to, you know, put a little bit more time to, but really there's this fine line between, like making making these plans. And for me really trying to keep practicing to stay in the moment. To kind of just, I mean, because what I noticed with my life, so much just comes to me as the day unfolds. So as the week goes by, and in a lot of times when I say like something measurable that I want to accomplish, it doesn't show up or turn out that way. And so but my life seems to be more like students, small things kind of coming about are unfolding. And so I think I want to be having enough space to be staying in that place, although it's good to set goals and to pursue big things. And I'm not saying that, about your goals, I'm just talking about myself. Sure, yeah. So to be like, okay, you know, what is so that I'm not missing the piece that is, within my day, coming my way, or that I don't get anxious, if what I want to do is not coming about in the timeframe that I had allotted. And, you know, again, and maybe this is more like a conclusion I got to come to because my last couple of weeks have been so different from one height what I had envisioned, you know me to focus on, that I need to focus on, and yet they were bringing in about, you know, the things that I really feel, you know, were supposed to happen in my life. And it was not, I really wanted to do like regular long podcast conversations and stuff like that. And that was not what was in those last couple of weeks. So I think staying in the present and going with the flow. Yeah, you know, being still thinking about you know, what, what do I want to concretely accomplish or what What do I want to pursue in this next year, maybe having the capacity to have both of those in the alternate or, you know, they sit down next to each other and cause me some tension. Anyways, so I mean, this is my, my, my ex Florida statement for next year, but definitely, like having some goal around, you know, being physically active as I know that that helps me all the time. You know, there's always some goal around that. Working on my my listening actively, skills, you know, there's always this interpersonal topic with my, my wonderful committee at home, that encourages me to work on myself. You know, there's always something like that as well, that, that those are goals. I want to keep myself apply to. Yeah, well, I think I'm already a little bit encouraged to, to look at the, at the past holiday season, with with the joy of Not, not running, but but the joy of missing out on certain things that I choose to maybe abstain from or that I like, maybe stalkers were like, Okay, I choose to take it a little bit easy after the holiday. So I feel replenished to then, you know, yes, enter into the new year. So yeah, I feel encouraged by by our conversation. So thank you so much.

Sarah Hohmann: 26:55

Of course, thank you for your insight. I'm looking forward to what's going to happen in the next few weeks, you know,

Sibylle Georgianna: 27:02

yes, we should definitely said set up a follow up time because, you know, it's good to stay in that community of sharing account. It's kind of like an accountability to me to have conversations. Yes. Thinking like, who cares? Well, there's many people who care. truly care about your time and time investment today. So thank you so much for your time. And may you have a wonderful and Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year ahead and a joyous new year.

Sarah Hohmann: 27:37

Thank you, you as well. It's always great meeting with you here.

Sibylle Georgianna: 27:41

Likewise, and I can't wait to continue our conversation. Talk to you soon.

Sarah Hohmann: 27:45

I talk to you soon. Take care.

Unknown: 27:48

Take good care. Bye bye