Your Mental Wellness Podcast for Your Voice and Sanity

Your Voice and Creating Communities of Support to Combat Executive Loneliness

• Dr. Sibylle Georgianna's Tools for Vitality • Season 5 • Episode 2

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I am thrilled to continue the dialogue with #1 International Best-Selling Author and award-winning Speaker, LinkedIn Top Voice 2023, Ironman World Athlete, Leadership Keynote Speaker, and Executive Mental Health Advocate Nick Jonsson. 

Nick shares about his passion, research and solutions to combat loneliness we so often experience in today's (remote) workplace. 

Contact Nick:

You'r listening to YOUR Mental Wellness podcast for YOUR voice and sanity.

Thank you for joining us this week on your mental wellness podcast for your voice and sanity. Make sure to check out our show notes, visit our website, www dot tools for vitality.com where you can subscribe to the show. We would appreciate it if you would tell a friend about the podcast

What are your questions about your mental wellness, tools for vitality, or any other topic that comes up for you?

Email me: toolsforvitality@pm.me .

Tools for Vitality: Therapy, Coaching, Optimizing Nutrition and Movement for Mental Wellness

Sibylle Georgianna:

Welcome back. And I get to have our expert on executive loneliness. Nick Johnson here again with me sharing about these important features, and what we can put into place that we can really attend to loneliness that we may experience, especially when in leadership position or an enterpreneur. And, and how to turn that into more of a solace, like a place of solitude and refreshment. So you made a very interesting point of having the courage to use your voice. And that that is especially a challenge in the digital world we are in. So what what is a way that we can really encourage ourselves to use voice?

Unknown:

Yeah, I'm a firm believer that we need to be proactive about this. And I talked a lot about creating safe spaces, both in our personal life and in our professional life. And what I mean with this is that we shouldn't have to wait for a conflict or crisis or something major to start speaking up, we should nurture our relationships in the good times to build strong, authentic relationships with the people around us. So that and that should include our colleagues and so on, so they know who we are as human beings, that doesn't mean we have to disclose everything to them. But we should start to become more human and practice what I say our vulnerability muscle. And if we have these safe, spaces built up in the good times, when difficult times come, we will bet naturally have a place where we will be open. And let me just give you one idea here. I'm also running a men's support group, because men find it quite challenging to speak up in their workplace and so on. And I created this safe space, where we have a one hour meeting every week, where these men in this group can log on and share what's on their mind. And by doing that, they they practice to speak up being honest and voice themselves about the challenges they're facing, and getting them the confidence to also have these conversations with the relevant people. And it's about preparing us then to have those difficult conversations in the workplace. So you have this Safe Work Safe spaces outside your work, then it's easier to have the difficult conversations in the workplace.

Sibylle Georgianna:

That's a great insight and take away and we will definitely have in the show notes how they can find your groups and enjoin or even look for a peer network in in the location that that we're all at? Do you also have a group for female leaders or women looking for support?

Unknown:

Yeah, we do. We have woman leaders groups, also in Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, and in Malaysia, and in Jakarta, which is the cities that we running these. And as you said, there's so many in every community, either our peer group support groups, men's groups, women networks, there's so many, and it's really, really taking off, which I'm happy to see because we need to have these conversations. And it's good also then to meet others to get insights. But how is it dealt with in an average organization, what's their perspective, and again, back to getting some sympathy which we need as human beings as well, especially if we're going through a difficult time, we want to know that it's not only us, we don't want to feel that we are the victim, we want to feel empowered, and listened to.

Sibylle Georgianna:

Yes, and even from my personal experience in in the 12 step movement, the fact if there, you know, you get somebody who listens to you and and spends the time to and even with sponsorship, and probably other you know, as you said, peer to peer mentor, mentor coaching, it is such a transformational tool, just the mere presence of another person taking the time to listen, that it really can turn on the volume on the voice in ways that it's it's unexpected, you know, how is this when you share something that it helps you have your voice and use it in different opportunities. And yet it is it's the way to do it that way. When, you know, you advocate for combating the sense of loneliness, what's the best medicine that we can take to, to attend to that sets?

Unknown:

Yeah, so according to me, it's about speaking up then to voice our pain and concern and then we as humans love to feel sympathy from other people. And this is something I learned from the world of recovery. You have so many beautiful 12 step recovery programs for everything these days. And it doesn't matter if someone pick up a social media, addiction, shopping, addiction, alcohol addiction, whatever it is, there's a whole world of People who get support there. And the first thing they say is, you know, when you come in there for that addiction, you feel like a loser, you feel like you're the only one in the world who who's suffered from this. And then as soon as you're walking into a room, you realize, oh, dear, there's 20 Other people just like me who've gone through the same. And then you start to calm down just by feeling that you're not the only one. Yeah, so let's put this, put it this way, the 12 step program I joined and it was to deal with my alcohol addiction at the time. And, and because through my divorce and the stress around that, and the loss of job and everything, I basically found myself in an identity crisis, I lost all my good habits, including eating well, exercising, I used to run marathons and competing and triathlons and so on leading up to that, I changed the healthy food to fast food and pizza. And I changed my exercise routine to barstool and I didn't realize it at the time, but it was a slippery slope. And it was really like a downward spiral. And before I knew it, I had replaced my healthy addictions with bad addictions. And I had to take action for that. And it was only by completely surrendering to this and seeking help in that 12 STEP program that I managed to start re patching my life. And as I gone through those 12 steps, I wanted to continue to learn and grow. And I wanted to remain on that path of recovery and content, constantly look at how can I improve myself, and that from there on, I continue to work with coaches, mentors, and until then I had not really work with psychologist, I started to work with different kinds of psychology specialists in different area, I had a son. Also, when my ex wife, who's today, 14 years, he was five years of age, then during the divorce, and I wanted to repair everything as I could. So I worked with child psychologist to help having conversations with him. And just making sure that he was okay. There was no signs that he had been damaged by this divorce because my ex wife, Tate work took great care of him, which I'm grateful for. But he was also to be repairing that relationship with my ex wife and making proper amends. And I needed help to do this, I needed a professional support to do this. And in that sense, I'm still on that journey. Now. I'm six years into this wonderful journey. And I keep reaching out, I did like huge cibula done my ICF certification and I'm now doing Masters coach certification, one higher level. And I'm actually like you also inspired of counseling and so on, I'm looking in perhaps I should do a master's degree in counseling. So I'm just fascinated by this world that has open up thanks to this.

Sibylle Georgianna:

Wow, that is so powerful. And that's what I love about the steps I feel it's more like the, like a circle of life where it is towards giving back what you've what you learn, and really, you're getting so much more and I think even the openness of your to, to consider coaching others to consider mentoring others to consider coaching a coach, you know, I mean, that's really I feel such a beautiful legacy to pursue, and it's so rewarding to be in this field. And, and what I also appreciate is, you know, I mean, it takes a lot of effort, and there's like a humility to to go through those 12 steps and, and apply yourself and, you know, make amends or living amends to those that were impacted. So kudos to you for, for doing this work that, on the other hand, is just giving so much life, meaning, I think it's very stressed world that we're in. So let's see if you if you think about other, so offering coaching or having a having peer support, is there any other apart from this very? That that's already like, like a huge systematic support. So any other thing that you feel can be helpful to the people you work with, to alleviate their stressors and helping them with their voice using their voice?

Unknown:

Yes, and I think we touched on it before we mentioned the word of community and I think as human beings, it's so important to belong to a community we all used to belong to something if it was the local church or the local bowling club, we all had memberships and so on and much of that will have fallen apart. It was disrupted by the pandemic and it was already on the decline before but then disrupted by the pandemic with isolation, but we need that Think as human beings to be responsible of taking this up again. And I would encourage every listener to think about what are they passionate about. And it doesn't matter. If it's chess, bridge, bowling, cycling, running, swimming, whatever it may be, I would encourage everyone to look up a few organizations and try to reach out and see if they can become members. And start by adding value being of service to your community, and just being a part of something. Because when we are part of something bigger, which is part of the community, we feel better about ourselves. And I am a firm believer that we must spend a few hours a day, ideally in the outdoor doing something and it can be walking, hiking, moving around moving our body. And that's what I do. And after our call today, I have a two and a half hour cycle ride with a group. And that is very important because I spend the rest of my day in virtual meetings, basically and working. So we have to be quite disciplined and firm on ourselves to make sure we get a few hours. So yeah, it can moving around exercise or in a community setting.

Sibylle Georgianna:

Absolutely, I couldn't agree more with that. And if we are not too plagued by cold weather, which is not an excuse, you know, I think sub certain regions and Germany being one of them, it was much harder to find ways to move around in the cold rain, then, you know, we're now blessed here on the on the west coast in the US to football with a way to be outside. So how can people be in touch with you? I know I will post your your contact, but how can people reach you best and learn about your work?

Unknown:

Yeah, so I have a website and it's Nick johnson.com. It's Nic, KJ O N, ss, o n.com. And most of my materials, so they're also links to my book. But the book can also be found on Amazon. It's called executive loneliness. And for those who have a busy life, it's also available as an audiobook now on Audible, that's

Sibylle Georgianna:

wonderful. Yes, it is definitely something to listen into. And another fun fact about my studies in Germany at the time, that was one of the areas I did research with clinical, you know, implications for the experience of loneliness. So yeah, it's feeling that many places, you know, our time together has come have come to a beautiful circle here. So, thank you so much for your time and for your service to others and to the greater community. And for being here and sharing with our listeners. I really appreciate it so much. Thank you